Yesterday evening my funny little monkey Diesel passed away peacefully with his family lovingly at his side. The clues and events leading up to this sad moment came all too quickly for me to process. His passing has affected me deeply. Throughout the years I’ve had to make the decision to allow a pet to be freed from pain on several occasions but never was one so young and seemingly healthy.
Looking back I now understand certain strange behaviors. A few weeks ago, Deezy started showing signs of being restless and pacing in circles. He started pressing his head hard against things, not only your lap but objects like the couch. I wondered if he had a headache. He started becoming oversensitive to everyday noises and new people became scary and he began to growl more often. Even with family members he was becoming impatient. Then about a week ago the excessive drooling started. We thought all of this might have been stress related so we took him to the vet and even scheduled a dog behaviorist to come evaluate him.
By yesterday morning he was extremely lethargic, shivering with a fever over 105 and getting worse by the hour. The tests revealed that he was a very sick doggie. The results pointed to some type of cancer in his body. I could hardly believe what the vet was telling me. I was faced with having to make important decisions quickly. My boy was hurting and it was my responsibility to find a way to take away the pain.
From the vet’s office I called my weimamomma angel, KellyAnn with TriState Weimaraner Rescue. She listened to me through the tears talk myself in circles about what to do next. KellyAnn is one amazing person and I am so grateful to know her.
My Deezy Weezy in only 4 shorts months of being in my life brought me more joy, laughter and love than I thought possible. Diesel was the type of dog that wanted to please. When I would talk to him you could see him almost aching to understand. He watched my every move. He followed my every step. He needed to be near me at every moment. He came to us with a bit of emotional baggage and insecurities but it wasn’t long before his little canine spirit was soaring. When Deezy smiled, you couldn’t help but smile with him.
We’ve gone through our share of deaths recently. Through tears last night I asked my husband, “Why is it that beings come to us to die?” He answered me, “Because we allow them to live.” What a profound statement.
My little monkey loved to romp through the fields with a huge smile on his face. Chasing squirrels, hunting mice and digging for groundhogs were his favorite ways of entertaining himself. Now that he’s crossed over the rainbow bridge I can only imagine that his beautiful spirit is free and will soar forever.
Thank you, Diesel. Momma loves you.
Click on the pictures below and try not to smile