Yesterday evening my funny little monkey Diesel passed
away peacefully with his family lovingly at his side. The clues and events
leading up to this sad moment came all too quickly for me to process. His
passing has affected me deeply. Throughout the years I’ve had to make the
decision to allow a pet to be freed from pain on several occasions but never
was one so young and seemingly healthy.
Looking back I now understand certain strange behaviors.
A few weeks ago, Deezy started showing signs of being restless and pacing in
circles. He started pressing his head hard against things, not only your lap
but objects like the couch. I wondered if he had a headache. He started
becoming oversensitive to everyday noises and new people became scary and he
began to growl more often. Even with family members he was becoming impatient. Then
about a week ago the excessive drooling started. We thought all of this might
have been stress related so we took him to the vet and even scheduled a dog
behaviorist to come evaluate him.
By yesterday morning he was extremely lethargic,
shivering with a fever over 105 and getting worse by the hour. The tests
revealed that he was a very sick doggie. The results pointed to some type of
cancer in his body. I could hardly believe what the vet was telling me. I was faced with having to make important
decisions quickly. My boy was hurting and it was my responsibility to find a
way to take away the pain.
From the vet’s office I called my weimamomma angel,
KellyAnn with TriState Weimaraner Rescue. She listened to me through the tears
talk myself in circles about what to do next. KellyAnn is one amazing person
and I am so grateful to know her.
My Deezy Weezy in only 4 shorts months of being in my life
brought me more joy, laughter and love than I thought possible. Diesel was the
type of dog that wanted to please. When I would talk to him you could see him
almost aching to understand. He watched my every move. He followed my every
step. He needed to be near me at every moment. He came to us with a bit of
emotional baggage and insecurities but it wasn’t long before his little canine
spirit was soaring. When Deezy smiled, you couldn’t help but smile with him.
We’ve gone through our share of deaths recently. Through
tears last night I asked my husband, “Why is it that beings come to us to die?”
He answered me, “Because we allow them to live.” What a profound statement.
My little monkey loved to romp through the fields with a
huge smile on his face. Chasing squirrels, hunting mice and digging for groundhogs
were his favorite ways of entertaining himself. Now that he’s crossed over the
rainbow bridge I can only imagine that his beautiful spirit is free and will
soar forever.
Thank you, Diesel. Momma loves you.
Click on the pictures below and try not to smile
